Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
