Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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