how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
