Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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