Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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