He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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