watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
