Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
And my parents said I crawled through the house
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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