Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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