I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
