I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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