Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
