He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
