is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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