You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
