Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
