sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
