so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
