When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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