I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
