One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
