I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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