watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
