Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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