we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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