so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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