Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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