Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
