We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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