Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I can't put those talents on a resume
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize