I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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