The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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