I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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