Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
