we should wear snuggies to the strip club
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
