Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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