from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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