I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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