She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize