Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
