I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I skipped work to stalk him.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
