It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
