You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
