Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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