so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I need moral support for this bender
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
