When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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