He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
