i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
