Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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