Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
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