she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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