he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize
