i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
