Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
