you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
