So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
