Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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