i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
