how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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